Penis Wants A Raise
I, the penis, hereby request a
raise in salary for the following reasons:
- I do physical labor. - I work
at great depths. - I plunge head first into everything I do. -
I do not get weekends off or public holidays. - I work in a
damp environment don't get paid overtime. - I work in a dark
workplace that has poor ventilation. - I work in high
temperatures. - My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request,
and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration
rejects your request for the following reasons:
- You do not work 8 hours
straight. - You fall asleep on the job after brief work
periods. - You do not always follow the orders of the
management team. - You do not stay in your allocated position,
and often visit other areas. - You do not take initiative ---
you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start
working. - You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of
your shift. - You don't always observe necessary safety
regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing. -
You'll retire well before reaching 65. - You're unable to work
double shifts. - You sometimes leave your allocated position
before you have completed the day's work. - And, if that were
not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the
workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely, The Management
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