You know you live in the California Bay Area when:

Your coworker tells you she has 8 body piercings but none are visible.

When someone says TENDERLOIN - you don't think of steak. You think of danger.

You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house.

You can't remember ... is pot illegal?

You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

You have a very strong opinion where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

A really great parking space can move you to tears.

You know that anyone wearing shorts in July is just visiting from Ohio.

You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits.

Your boss runs in "The Bay to Breakers"....it's the first time you have seen him nude.

Your child's 3rd grade teacher has two pierced ears, a nose ring and is named "Breeze." And, after telling that to a friend, they still need ask if the teacher is male or female.

You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between yoga, aromatherapy, conversational Mandarin or a building your own web site class.

You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you moved to San Francisco and you couldn't figure out how to drive to Coit Tower if your life depended on it.

A man walks on MUNI in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. .....You don't notice.

A woman walks on MUNI with live poultry. You don't notice.

You think any guy with a George Clooney haircut must be visiting from the Midwest.

You know that any woman with a George Clooney haircut is not a tourist.

You keep a list of companies to boycott.

Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is straight and your Mary Kay Lady is a guy in drag.