^ @

Women's English

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = NO

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your decision. = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk. = I need to complain.

Sure go ahead. = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're so manly. = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper ...

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate = just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

Was that the baby? = Why don't you gat out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.